Self-care: isn’t it just another new pseudo-psychological term?
In today’s post, we look at the benefits of self-care, why it isn’t selfish to spend time nurturing your health and hopes, and how self-care can be the best gift you give to others.
What is self-care?
Self-care has been defined as providing adequate attention to one's own physical and psychological wellness (Beauchamp & Childress, 2001).
It isn’t just another New Age word for being utterly selfish; there are huge benefits to be gained from being kind to yourself. In fact, the benefits extend beyond the individual to all the people in their world. So, by being kind to yourself, you’re also being kind to others.
There’s no mystery to it; self-care simply means taking care of yourself. The key, however, is that you do this consciously.
3 aspects of self-care
Self-care means being aware of how you are on a mental, emotional and physical level (and for some, a spiritual level), and ensuring that each of these aspects of yourself is supporting the other.
For example, think about whether your thoughts make you happy or keep you stuck in the past; are you motivated enough to go out and get some exercise?
Consider the following:
• Are you taking an active
role in your health and wellbeing? Pay yourself some much-needed attention and taking a break when you need to. Focus on things that make you feel content and invigorated.
• Self-care applies to people who are perfectly healthy as well as to those with minor ailments or even more serious health complaints.
If you’re on medication or under medical supervision, self-care means you make choices that support your health and treatment, such as remembering to take pills, sticking to any instructions about your diet or not consuming alcohol, and so on.
For people who want to maintain good health or those with niggling aches and pains or relatively
minor health issues, such as a headache, cold or a sprain, self-care is about choosing to treat yourself in a way that promotes continued wellness. Take preventative measures to stay healthy or stop a further decline in health.
Ultimately, the better your self-care routine, the less likely you will require medical intervention (although never hesitate to seek medical advice if you have any concerns about your health!).
Isn’t self-care selfish?
In today’s non-stop, hectic world, self-care has become a guilt-ridden indulgence rather than a critical aspect of our daily routine, helping us reach our potential and live happier, healthier lives.
There’s nothing selfish about self-care, just as there is nothing selfish about taking measures to keep yourself safe such as looking twice before you cross the street or eating regular meals because you know it benefits your health.
What’s more, self-care filters out to others in your circle; it’s particularly important for people who care for others – your own cup must be full in order to tend to the needs of other people effectively.
10 Simple self-care practices
Self-care
practices include simple actions such as expressing your feelings, taking a break from the desk or from work, and eating healthily and regularly.
Here are 10 simple ways you can practice self-care every day:
1. Time out
Take a moment to pause and reflect. Shut down your thinking mind for a while, breathe deeply and simply enjoy where you are, right now! Some people call this “mindfulness”.
Doing this promotes clarity, reduces stress and allows you to focus on what’s important. Head to your happy place!
2. Food
Eat well! Gut health is important not only for your physical wellbeing but also for your emotional health. The
‘soup’ of bacteria that sits in your gut
dictates how you react in different situations by influencing your level of anxiety and sense of safety.
Gut bacteria produces chemicals such as dopamine, which influences mood, and norepinephrine, which is involved in the body’s stress (fight or flight) mechanisms.
Healthy eating really does make a difference.
3. Assertiveness
Ever say “yes” when you really mean “no”?
When others people constantly breach your boundaries it can whittle away at your self-esteem. Self-care means having the strength to say ‘no’ and ensuring that you live life by the values that make you feel comfortable.
4. Exercise
This is self-explanatory: exercise is good for your physical and mental wellbeing. Even if it’s difficult to find the time, the act of taking a walk or an exercise class, jogging or cycling, etc. is an invaluable aspect of self-care which will pay dividends to your long-term quality of life.
5. Appreciate nature
How often do you walk along without really noticing the way the clouds are dancing overhead or the way the sun feels on your skin or the beauty of the trees as they blossom into spring or fade into autumn in a blaze?
Appreciating nature is good for the soul.
6. Limit your exposure to bad news
Of course, we can’t avoid life altogether but neither do we have to court bad news by watching every horror announcement on TV and clicking on trending bad news stories all the time. Try to consciously seek out good news rather than looking at the negative, of which there is a never-ending supply.
7. Healthy sleep practices
Everybody needs different amounts of sleep. Whether you need six hours’ or eight hours’ sleep, develop health sleep practices such as checking the room temperature (the optimal temperature for sleep is between 15.6 to 19.4⁰C), limiting your exposure to blue light from a TV screen or digital device, and doing something to relax before bed rather than trying to hit the sack with a mind still whirring from the day’s events.
Remember that sleep rejuvenates the body; this is when your mind processes the day that has just been and regenerates your body for the next one.
8. Be your own best friend
Catch yourself in negative self-talk patterns and be a little kinder to yourself. Show compassion for the things that don’t quite work to plan, and make sure you show some appreciation for the things you do achieve, no matter how small.
9. Phone a friend
Make time for your relationships outside of work. Having quality connections with other people, whether it’s a romantic relationship or having good friends, or a sense of belonging within your neighbourhood or with like-minded people, time spent nurturing these will lead to a
healthier, happier life.
Isn’t it time you caught up for a chat?
10. Seek out happiness
Every day, make sure you sure you do an activity that lights you up inside. Rediscover a hobby, be creative, watch a comedy film – just be happy!
Even if you can only squeeze in 10 minutes of time for yourself, be sure to nurture your sense of joy.
Caring for every part of your being
Let’s take a deeper look at the different aspects of self-care (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual).
Physical self-care
For many people, physical self-care is the most obvious aspect of self-care to fulfil.
Nutritious food, regular meals
Physical self-care includes eating regular, balanced and healthy meals, ensuring you get the right nutrition which contributes to good health. (This also includes drinking enough water.)
Exercise
Exercise is, of course, another way to care for your physical needs: regular walking, jogging and yoga are some of the ways you can achieve this. For people with limited mobility, there are always adapted exercises you can find; ask your medical practitioner for advice on this.
As a by-product of exercise you’ll also feel happier, since you’ll be triggering feel-good hormones called endorphins, which are known to decrease pain and elevate the mood, as well as reducing the body’s stress hormones, lowering adrenaline and cortisol. So exercise also serves self-care at the emotional level, too.
Sleep
This means going to bed at a reasonable hour, ensuring the temperature in your bedroom is conducive to sleep, and setting yourself up for a good night by not eating too much just before bed. Be sure to switch off phones, computers, TVs and other blue light-emitting devices an hour before you go to sleep, as these disrupt the circadian rhythm, the body’s natural, in-built cycle of sleep and wakefulness, which is largely based around the sun’s activities and the light cues it offers for rest and alertness.
For shift workers, it’s a little harder; however, blackout curtains, eye masks and earplugs can help to prepare you for sleep.
Carrying out relaxing activities such as mindfulness, simple breathing exercises, or reading a good book are effective ways to coax your body and mind to shed the adrenaline of the day.
The key is to ensure that your body is getting the sleep it requires to be fully alert when you wake up. For some people, this means eight hours straight; others can get away with as little as a six-hour sleep or less.
Know what amount of you require and make sure you’re taking the required amount of shut-eye!
Emotional self-care
Are you aware of your emotions? How do you feel right now? If you put your emotional wellbeing first, you’ll have more energy for life and will naturally take positive steps to meet your goals.
Being kind to yourself
An example of this is finding time for a comforting bath, to read a good book or another activity that brings you inner peace and joy. Whatever you choose to do, be sure that it’s guilt-free and is something that aligns with the other strands of self-care; i.e. it should be something that supports your health and happiness. Be playful!
Positive self-talk
Also known as ‘being kind to yourself’, positive self-talk can be difficult to master. In fact, many people are unaware that they are being unkind to themselves as it is often done subconsciously.
Negative self-talk can be linked to core beliefs about yourself which may have been handed to you, rather than observations based in fact.
How many times do you give yourself kudos for a job well done? Or do you quickly move on to the next task on your to-do list while berating yourself for not achieving as much as you’d hoped?
For people who aren’t used to giving themselves some inner praise, start by noticing any negative self-talk and challenging it.
Did you really screw up or did you do your very best and the outcome wasn’t quite what you expected? Were there external factors beyond your control at play? So perhaps you did a great job, given the circumstances?
It can take a while to conquer negative self-talk but the rewards are that you’ll feel more confident, motivated and happier.
If you still find it difficult to stop the negative self-talk, trying role playing as your best friend.
Think about it: would you really talk to your best friend in such a callous, uncaring way or would you use a kinder turn of phrase or seek to comfort and encourage them?
Being assertive
Being assertive, in a non-aggressive way, is key to your emotional and psychological wellbeing. It means setting boundaries; not being talked into something you really don’t want to do; and addressing things that rankle you about someone else’s behaviour before they become bigger issues.
Psychological/mental self-care
Your mental health underpins your emotional wellbeing and feeds into your physical health, too.
Consciously look for GOOD news
Bad news is prolific. Do you obsess about watching the news? Seek out the latest disaster? While keeping up with what’s going on in the world is important, there are times when we can all use a little break from the headline-grabbing devastation that appears to be happening around us.
The saying “no news is good news” is true here. Switch off from newspapers, news reports on the TV or your phone, nasty social media posts etc. for a while – see how much more positive you are as a result.
Keep your mind active
Do a puzzle: challenge your mind! Keep your brain healthy and your mind active by mastering something new, reading a book or an activity which inspires you to flourish mentally. Making time for something that stimulates you is important for keeping yourself sharp and positively influencing your mental wellbeing – especially in later years.
Spiritual self-care
Spiritual self-care might seem more obscure but it is simply about context and connection: having a sense of purpose about your life and the experiences you have, and feeling connected to your inner self and the universe. It is about nurturing your true spirit – that part of you that throbs in the centre of your being, invisible but profoundly palpable.
Spiritual self-care doesn’t necessarily have to include religion; although attending a mosque, a church, a religious ceremony, event, or prayer and religious rituals offer many people a deeper sense of life’s meaning.
Appreciate nature
Take a walk in nature or take time to appreciate the natural world. Being aware of nature is a reminder of how good life can be.
The abundance of trees and grass, or leaves on your indoor plant; the bright blue sky; a breath of clean air or even the countless raindrops on the window can add to your sense of wonder about the world around you and increase your sense of gratitude at being alive to witness it.
Nurture your goals
Psychological self-care can include nurturing your goals: a PB when you’re out running or walking, having a good interview (even if you didn’t get the job, you’re still pushing towards your goal), or writing that book is essential to your mental wellbeing.
A sense of achievement, no matter how small, is what makes us human. Take small steps towards your goals and appreciate every part of the journey – and the efforts you make – towards them.
Conclusion
Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean lavishing yourself with expensive gifts, taking extended holidays or popping off to the spa for a break; in fact, self-care doesn’t depend on money or time.
Taking care of your needs emotionally, physically and mentally can start as small as finding five minutes to simply ‘be’ with yourself. Take time out that’s just for you: put your hand over your heart and listen to your heartbeat, and acknowledge your innermost thoughts and beliefs without judgement.
Try this simple practice, and with time you’ll realise how unselfish self-care really is and start to incorporate some of the tips above.
Often the different areas of self-care overlap.
By taking care of your physical needs, you also tend to the emotional part of your wellbeing, too. For example, cooking and eating a meal that you enjoy, or even ordering something as a treat, gives you a positive emotional boost. Making time for a bath, especially when you take the trouble to carve out a few moments during a busy schedule, can boost your self-esteem.
With little acts of kindness, you’re telling yourself: ‘I deserve it’.
Do you love yourself enough to practise a little self-care?
Share your thoughts on this blog in the comments below.
Do you have tips and practices to share about wellbeing? Contact Wellness Books to discuss how to publish your wellbeing book. Take the first step by emailing us at info@wellnessbooks.co.uk.